Top Bakers Dozen Hurricane Facts*

*Not really facts at all, probably on the side of opinion and me just saying stuff. Also, now in my later blogger stage, I am too lazy to number, but I promise there are 13


-Well I guess it could have been worse, the hurricane could’ve had a gun

-I think that bastard hurricane stole some of my socks, I’m finding all this mismatched pairs now

-Probably wasn’t the right day to hang my clothes out to dry

-During the day on the stoop of my apartment I conducted a Wind Chimes orchestra. It was mostly covers but a few originals

-There is tree shit (leaves) everywhere

-I think I may have out hurricanned the hurricane, was so hungover the day after

-Was walking around town and only saw one tree that was turned over but I think it was ruled a suicide, not from the winds

-I have instituted natural disaster lingo by adding hurricane or emergency in front of everything I do. For example, I just woke from a Hurricane nap and now am having a hurricane sandwich with an emergency beer

-Well if the world ends with this hurricane, the pearly gates of heaven better not have a breathalyzer test because I won’t pass

-Hurricane panic is setting in, I stopped at Duane Reade during my lunch break for supplies and they were sold out of kites and windsocks

-Valentine’s Day is to greeting cards is like a hurricane is to grocery stores, it’s a made up event by the industry to raise sales

-An earthquake, a hurricane on the way and a new Bangles album dropping soon? I am already lacking motivation to get this compliance project done, signs that the end of the world is nearing is not helping

-Is alcohol consumed during a natural disaster a tax writeoff? I am just trying to prepare for next April