A Dozen Cases of Lotto Fever

Now with the drama of the Lotto jackpot finally over I've decided to reflect back on my weekend. I had highs, lows and moments of pure ridiculousness. Now in random order and blatantly all over the map, I present to you a dozen cases of lotto fever........



I- Is 10 bucks worth of losing lotto tickets a quality gift? I mean, I tried to give someone 620 million in cash for their wedding. I put in more thought then giving a blender


II- "Yeah that deadline seems pretty stupid now boss, kiss my 620 million dollar butt" - something everyone thought but only a couple people got to say


III- Just put my out of office on for eternity. I'm a positive person, I'll worry about the consequences of Monday work morning on the slim chance I don't win the jackpot


IV- I can’t decide to take either the lump sum or invest in 120,000,000 Subway foot long subs if I win. Both seem like a winning idea 


V- If all the coworkers next to me win their office lotto pool they won't shutup about and I don't get promoted, I am quitting this job too


VI- So I have joined lotto pools with family, friends and enemies. It’s not the holidays that brings everyone together, it’s remotely small chances on winning an obscene amount of money that does


VII- There is a 99.999% more of a chance that you will hear Riana’s "Hopeless Place" while waiting on line to play lotto than actually winning lotto


VIII- They should add much more gambling to large lotto jackpots, like betting the race, sex, location, favorite color or how many teeth the winner will have


IX- I once read that the lottery is a tax on stupid people so go ahead and waste your dollar people. I’ll just enjoy the 4 extra quarter peep shows I use mine on even more


X- I wonder if the amount of bank robberies skyrockets the day after a huge jackpot is won. If people are like me, they prematurely spend the winnings and then are stuck with some debt that cannot be easily repaid


XI- If you got struck by lightning and shot accidentally by a crossbow in the pinky finger by the Pope at the stroke of midnight on Leap Day there is must be some sort of percentage of that equating to winning the lottery. Maybe it's higher maybe it's lower, what the hell do I know, I’m no mathematician


XII- Excuse me Deli Cashier, my lotto tickets are broken. These numbers are wrong, please give me a refund