Book Report

Believe it or not, but it is possible to pen a book report strictly for personal pleasure. Without fulfilling a course requirement, I chose to write an evaluation the two classic Pete Lopez blogs, “If You Don’t Read This I Will Kidnap Your Family” (IYDRTIWKYF) and “The Essay That Let’s Other Essays Shine.”(TETLOES) Besides succumbing to the huge internet hype surrounding him (5 followers), the reason I picked Mr. Lopez was that I felt a strange cosmic connection.

It took about an instant for me to begin enjoying the unique narrative style that Mr. Lopez used to convey his distorted sense of wisdom. As an example, in TETLOES, he claimed to sporadically model himself in clothes comparable to that of a homeless man in order for the days he groomed neatly, to stand out more. I found this tactic highly irrational but he did raise a point about contrasting consistency. When bringing the topic up with colleagues, a debate often occurred around the phrase “you can have too much of a good thing.” Some agreed that arriving pretty everyday was an overdose of cake, while others argued it merely rationalized an excuse to skip showering and applying makeup a few mornings a week.

I was unable to identify an exact writing method that the Pete pledged to or locate another senseless author he drew inspiration from. If I was forced to categorize his literature, I would label it as, live writing which jots down the first thoughts that come from the top of the head and then praying for the best. Instead of story telling, I compare it to the unpredictability of a sporting event. When the ending rolls around, for the better or worse, I believe Pete Lopez was just as surprised as to what happens as anyone else who reads.

He also transmitted a very relaxed tone. Perhaps even too relaxed, because he rarely accomplished anything productive and displayed the attention span of a house fly. I found it hysterical that throughout IYDRTIWKYF he kept conjuring up criminal or outlandish ways to becoming successful but as we journeyed through his brain storming, it seemed as if he never left the couch. I have to admit that I prefer reading about his never-ending hope with get rich quick schemes as opposed to tales from some dedicated worker who slowly scratched and climbs his way up the mountain of marginal success.

In criticism, I wish I knew what school of thought Pete followed because it appears that in some of his sentence structure that he lacks an education altogether. I don’t think he’d have a clue as to what a semi colon was, even if it walked right up and literally smacked him in the face. Also, he does not seem fond of proofreading his work as he erroneously jumps from one tense to another. There were many parts where I assumed he was hopping in and out of some sort of time traveling machine.

My final disagreement is his constant over modification of verbs. I wouldn’t be surprised to be reading the newspaper one morning over coffee to discover that famed nonsense writer Pete Lopez was found dead in his small city apartment. The cause is still being investigated and an autopsy is pending, but with his room littered in LY’s, all the evidence is pointing to an overdose on adverbs.

Despite those minor faults, I really really loved both samples and I consider his oblivious butchering of the English language as all part of the Pete Lopez experience. I hope one day I am lucky enough to meet him and shake his hand. I already have planned to jokingly tell him that both of these pieces were so amazing, they actually diminish each other. I greatly look forward to tracking his aspiring career and expect anyone who reads this Book Report to match my opinion and declare Pete Lopez one of the living marvels in the literary universe.

-source unknown (but credible)




Bibliography
-I am sure Pete Lopez is just so happy that someone read his work that he doesn't care if he was referenced properly.