You know you are an alcoholic when....
1-You debate each liquid or powder in the juice isle at the grocery store if it would mix well with vodka
2-The level of beer left in your glass keeps getting higher as to when you start worrying about the following one
3-On a random Tuesday night, you think I don’t have time for this and switch from beer to chugging tequilla
4-When hearing warnings for severe weather conditions, your first thought is stocking up on emergency cases of beer
5-You bargain profusely for a better deal on a few bananas at the fruit stand but later that evening shrug off $11 cocktails
6-You keep your spare set of house keys at the local bar and "accidentally" lock yourself out a lot
7-Your idea of a drinking problem is when all the glasses are dirty
8-Autumn cleaning to you means finishing the leftover Summer Ales in your fridge
IX-You wonder what would happen if you added rum as an ingredient in pancake batter
X-You view swallowing a vitamin, cold pill or lego as a legitimate excuse to pop open a beer
XI-You think non-alcoholic beer is acceptable at work, church or pregnant
XII-Reading this list makes you crave a drink so bad, you are oblivious that I switched numbering to roman numerals
And now for Inside the Author's head...
So I thought of the dirty glasses as a drinking problem one day when I was out of cups and wanted to use it somehow. What else is better than list? Everything else were things I noticed from "other people" like um um Mr X or Madame Y. Well that of course except for when I was drinking a Sam Adam's Summer Ale while the neighbors were outside raking tree shit (leaves). Wait, I also better say I never ingested a lego. The thought of the idea that someone would use swallowing a child toy in order to rationalize drinking a beer made me laugh. Alright, I am off to the local bar to get my keys....I mean donating blood at the orphanage while serving soup to the homeless
-pete
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